Laryssa Accepts Miss America Crown

On Saturday night, Miss Virginia Caressa Cameron was crowned Miss America. The 22-year old is a broadcast journalism student at Virginia Commonwealth University.

I’ve been whining about the Miss America pageant for quite some time. What is the point? Can’t we find more constructive ways to award scholarships to women?

Being the sneaky prankster that I am, I wonder if a young woman who is actually smart, who really cares about something could use the Miss America system to do some actual good. I’m not talking about “Miss America good”; I mean scrape the bullshit off the walls with your fingernails good.

Let’s use Caressa as an example. She is studying journalism, and she just won $50,000 to pursue her studies. Isn’t studying broadcast journalism and being in pageants some sort of cliche? Have any Miss Americas broken ground with their media aspirations?

We don’t need anymore pretty newscaster ladies to read the news that other people are investigating and writing. Maybe the large news organizations think they need these people to maintain good ratings and attract viewers. But I’m saying that we don’t need another Wendy Rieger*.

Journalism and media need innovators. These people, men and women included, are not innovating anything. They are regurgitating politically correct responses and playing it safe. According to the Associated Press, “When asked during the interview portion of the competition her thoughts on fighting childhood obesity, Cameron said parents should curb television and video games.”

Why don’t you talk about a subject that will stir some controversy, Ms. Cameron? I don’t blame her for keeping quiet. When Carrie Prejean, Miss California 2009, offered an actual opinion, she was practically burned at the stake.

Anyway, I had a dream that I made it to the Miss America pageant as Miss New Jersey. In my dream, I won. How? I figured out the system and played along until the big moment, flashing my pearly white teeth and saying everything they wanted me to say.

In this dream, the hosts call my name and ask me to step forth so that I can accept my crown. I wait until they put the crown on my head so they can’t take it away from me. Of course, I’m about to say something that nobody wants to hear.

I rip off my ugly, uncomfortable gown to reveal my writing uniform: black Nike pants and a hoodie with the name of my alma mater. I kick off my heels, and they hit one of the judges in the face. I begin.

Thank you, thank you.

Now that I have your attention, which I have spent years fighting for, I am going to tell you the truth.

I am an aspiring digital journalist and writer, and I have absolutely no interest in broadcast journalism.

I just know that if I was honest and told you I like writing better than speaking, I would have never gotten this far. You can’t see a pretty face when it’s sitting at a computer in pajamas, typing furiously and researching a story. What a waste of a pretty face, you would say.

I’m actually not at all interested in saying only what you want to hear – I think the media is pretty good at propagating bullshit, and I don’t want to contribute to it. A lot of irresponsible writers and editors don’t think twice about the falsehoods they feed to the public.

On the other hand, a lot of very devoted, smart people are trying their best to uncover important stories. These people love writing, and they consider it a profession. Most are not compensated enough for their hard work and dedication.

As much as I value journalism, I think this $50,000 would actually better used as a business investment, not for my education.

Don’t get me wrong – I believe wholeheartedly that education is important. But if I had the choice of going to J-school or making something of all the ideas that are constantly bubbling in my head, I would choose the latter. And $50,000 is more than enough money to begin.

These days, given the economy and turbulence in the media industry, pursuing journalism has more to do with innovating yourself and the medium. Think about all the communications students and the shitty job market – thousand of kids with basically the same education are competing for jobs.

I’m going to take this $50,000 and invest in the real world. I’m going lock myself in a cabin in the middle of nowhere with only WiFi, a computer, and food. I’m going to create a feasible business model for journalism, and then I’m going to come out of hiding and write some stories that matter.

Once I start making money, I’m going to hire the best writers I can find and compensate them handsomely. I will prove that digital journalism can indeed be sustained by a for-profit model.

Take a good look at me now because the next time you see me will be my name in a byline; though not much to look at, it means more to me than fitting your superficial ideal.

I’d like to say “hi” to my friends Thomas and Tony, who are fans of Comma ‘n Sentence and asked to be mentioned here. You can become a fan too.

Thank you for this opportunity and good night.

P.S. Did you know the Miss America pageant began in 1921 as a publicity stunt? Atlantic City was trying to encourage tourists to stick around after Labor Day.

*Despite my jabs, I have nothing against Wendy Rieger. She is an accomplished woman, and I respect her work. A few months ago, we participated in the same panel discussion, and we disagreed about a few things. Teasing Wendy has become a running joke at Comma ‘n Sentence, and I hope no one takes it personally.

(Photo by worldcat57)

Tagged as: feminism, media, new media, television